Thursday, June 27, 2013

Two Years

Two years ago Madeline was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

 Two years ago I started blood sugar testing and giving Madeline multiple daily injections.

Two years ago I cried so hard I thought my tear ducts would run dry.

Two years ago I wondered how I would survive taking care of a diabetic toddler.

Two years ago I felt there was no one who could possibly understand our diabetic life.

Two years later Madeline is on an insulin pump.

Two years later I sometimes cry, but prefer silent swearing and finger actions.

Two years later I wonder how I will survive taking care of a crazy pre-schooler.

Two years later Madeline has a playdate with a little friend that is diabetic and wears an insulin pump.

Two years later there is still a long road ahead of us.  We could choose to drive in the slow lane and let life pass us by, or grab the map, hit the gas and see where this road takes us.

Buckle up.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Sleep Tight

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about sleep.  Sheep, fences, puffy clouds, I want the whole package.

We started Madeline on her Medtronic Revel insulin pump one month ago.  Besides a bent cannula on day one (note: Madeline's tummy is made out of steel) our newbie pump status has been pretty easy.  I can see the benefits everyday.

I have surprised myself with how quickly I have come to rely on an insulin pump.  I love Medtronic's Bolus Wizard.  No let me rephrase that.......I LOVE MEDTRONIC'S BOLUS WIZARD!  After 2 years of number crunching, calculators and a lot of WTF, I get almost giddy when the little Wizard gives me numbers.  Madeline is getting insulin continually, blood sugars have become more consistant, and we have much more flexability with mealtimes.  Things are gradually falling into a comfortable routine.

Except for sleep.  Oh sweet, sweet sleep.

I have worn a path between my bedroom and Madeline's bedroom.  I have always tested Madeline during the night, just not as often as I have since her pump start.  I am a touch out of my comfort zone.  I have control of the pump, but diabetes has control of Madeline.  I tell the pump what I want it to do, but that doesn't mean diabetes isn't going to throw me a curve ball.  I set alarms throughout the night to be sure all is well.  I only have one Madeline, so if my sleep must pay the price, so be it.  Eventually I will find a good balance.

But geez, I really miss my sleep now.

So if you see me out and about and I look like I haven't slept in days, that's because I haven't slept in days.  Please do not tell me "take a nap, you'll feel better".  If I could take a nap, I would not be running into you so that you could tell me to take a nap.  A nice smile, an understanding  nod of the head to my incoherent babble, and let me be on my way.

Just make sure I'm going in the right direction once I'm on my way.