Thursday, June 21, 2012

A One Year Balloon

One year ago today, Madeline was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  That day is forever etched in my memory.  I can still feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, my heart aching so much I thought it would burst, and the feeling of complete helplessness, upon hearing, "you were right, Madeline is diabetic".

Diabetes became the huge elephant in the room, tied to my ankle, and not letting me move forward.  I felt like I was being held captive to my child's chronic illness.  I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Many hours of diabetes training, doctor visits, phone calls and just plain old learning on the fly, we have really come a long way.  I can now ruin your day by telling you how many carbs are in the food you are eating, do a math calculation with my eyes closed, and test a blood sugar in super-human speed.
A year later, diabetes is no longer an elephant tied to me, it  has become a balloon.  We take great care so we don't pop it, make sure it always has enough air so it doesn't touch the ground, and hold tight to the string so it doesn't float out of our control.  Blood sugar tests, insulin shots and continual doctor visits will never go away, but we accept them, so we can move forward with our lives.

Madeline is a very happy, energetic and healthy 3 year old now.  She loves to play on the swing set, sing funny songs, and dance silly dances.   She can be the most stubborn little kid at times (I mean really stubborn), but the sweetest, most caring little love bug you have ever met.  She has not let diabetes get in the way of who she will grow up to be.   

I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It is a small twinkling little light, but I can finally see it.  As Madeline gets older, medical research advances, and we hold the string tight, someday we may be able to make a wish on Madeline's balloon and let it go.

And watch it float up, up, and away, into the sky.


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