Tomorrow.....

I haven't written anything on my blog for quite some time.  I'm not sure why.  I use writing as a mental release for my overloaded brain.  Everyday I think "wow, that would make a great story", but then life gets in the way, time runs out, and another day passes. Tomorrow.....

Sandy Hook Elementary School, Connecticut.

My daughter Sophia is 6 years old.  She is in first grade.  My heart has been very heavy for those families that have lost their children to such an unimaginable act of evil.     

Children are innocent.  They believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth fairy.  As parents, it's our job to love them, protect them, and guide them through their journey of life.  If along the way they get a boo-boo, it is our duty to give hugs and kisses and make it all better.  We shield them from the ugly realities of the world by painting bright blue sunny skies with puffy white clouds.  We want our children to enjoy just being a kid for as long as they can.  But everyday, it gets a little harder.

After a mandatory tickle session on the couch, Sophia stopped laughing, looked at me, and said "mom, did you know a man went into a school and shot 20 kids dead and 6 big people dead too, then shot  himself?".

My heart broke.

The world has changed so much.

Maybe we all need to slow down, turn the t.v. off and put the phones away.  We need to find what is truly important in our lives and enjoy every wonderful moment.  We are only given so much time on this earth, some longer, some less than ever expected.

 If we don't take the opportunity to embrace what we have now, life gets in the way, time runs out, and another day passes.

Tomorrow......     




                     

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

The impossible has been accomplished.  Madeline is fully potty trained!  She is 3.5 years old.  Now if you're one of those parents that say "tsk, tsk  tsk, my child was fully potty trained by the time he was conceived.",  bend over and prepare to meet my foot.

Sophia was completely potty trained, day and night, before she was 2 years old.  Even our family doctor was impressed that she had such great success with potty training.  I really didn't understand  the excitement.  It was sooo easy.   I just started putting her on the potty at 1.5 years old, and viola, potty trained.  I didn't have to deal with another dirty diaper until Madeline came along.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy. 

When I decided to potty train Madeline, I used the same approach as I did Sophia.  Put her on the potty at 1.5 years old, and.........and........and........nothing.  Whaaaaat?  How can this be?  Where is the happy, giggly little kid that loves to read books while she sits on her throne?   Oh no, I had the kid that threw daggers with her eyes if I even suggested using the potty.  Time for a new approach.

I purchased a Dora the Explorer potty seat, fun picture books and a massive bag of M&M's.  This plan was foolproof.  Just having the bag of M&M's in the house created chaos.  Sophia, who had been potty trained for 2 years, was willing to do anything for those yummy, chocolate covered beauties.  Madeline tried her best to resist, but the M&M pull was too strong, and she finally agreed to use the potty.  I could see progress, and was more than happy to shell out candy as a bribe.  Not as easy peasy, with a hint of  lemon squeezy.

Then came diabetes.

A newly potty training 2 year old, with diabetes, is a very bad combination.  Add a sleep deprived, highly over caffeinated mom, and then it just turns into crazy town.  My plate was so full, potty training was pushed to page "whenever" of my to do list.  I truly did not care if she went to college in diapers.  No easy, and the lemon just got squeezed in my eyes.

One year later, before Madeline's 3rd birthday, I decided I was ready to take on the challenge of potty training again.  I now faced a new dilemma.  I could no longer use M&M's as my potty bribe.  Madeline had become very comfortable in diapers, and really had no desire to use the potty.  Sticker charts, trinkets and toys were my only source of bribes.  Oh how I missed those M&M's.  Freaking diabetes.

Madeline held out as long as she could, but when Aunt Kimmy promised a great big chocolate cake and a poop party, she caved, and is now wearing her beloved princess underwear.  Squeezy peasy easy lemon.

A 1.5 unit of  insulin shot for a huge 30 carb piece of cake was well deserved.  Not just for being a big girl using the potty, but for being a big girl living with diabetes.

Diabetes can go suck a lemon.

Now, where do I find poop party decorations?



    

   











       

Tug-Of-War

I've tightened my control of all things diabetes.  No more unnecessary snacks.  Super strict carb counting.  Even more blood sugar tests.  Madeline's A1C test is in 3 weeks (this is where I run around in circles waving my hands in the air all crazy like).  Even with all my extra hard work, I'm still playing tug-of-war with diabetes.  Diabetes plays really rough.  

We have been playing this game for 3 months since her last A1C test.

Some days I really get my feet good and stuck in the ground and give that rope a good hard pull.  Other days, I can feel the burn of the rope as it's being pulled out of my slipping hands.  I absolutely refuse to let go.  I want the win baby.  I want a great A1C number.

After one serious hard core tug-of-war game, I decided to hit the shower.  Madeline in the meantime, went to the fridge, grabbed herself a nice chocolaty 16 carb pudding cup, and proceeded to eat the whole thing.  She threw the empty pudding cup in the garbage, placed her spoon in the sink and even wiped her hands and mouth.  Such good manners.  She proudly skipped up to the shower door and let me know, that for the first time ever, she took care of snack time by herself.

Not only did I lose all control of my rope, I was pulled face down in the dirt for about a mile, listening to diabetes evil laugh.  And I was naked.

With some serious explaining to Madeline that I love that she is such a big girl, but please, please, puh-leeeease, do not handle snack time alone, I have regained my grip on the rope.

And if for some reason, Madeline my love, you decide to do a chocolaty carb over-load again, make sure mommy has clothes on.

Appreciate it.

















                        

Happiest Place on Earth

After Madeline's stressful diabetes debut last year, we decided it was time for a fun family vacation this summer. Not just a 2 or 3 day getaway as we had for the last umpteen years, but an actual, what other people do, one week vacation.  Destination, Florida.  Considering I did not want to be more stressed on vacation than I am at home, we decided a few days at Disney, and a few days at Cocoa Beach.  My sister and her family would be joining  us.  Sweeeet.  We left for the happiest place on earth August 21.

Prior to our Florida journey, I had researched what other families had experienced with their diabetic children in Disney.   I was warned  to not be surprised to see high blood sugar numbers due to excitement, food and time changes.  So imagine our surprise when Rick did a quick blood sugar check on Madeline about 45 minutes into our flight and saw 40.  What the what?  That was not in my imaginary diabetic travel manual.  After some food and beverage, she was back on track. 
What a Goofy start to our trip.

From the first finger prick on the plane, to every "I'm just gonna test to be sure", we dealt with low blood sugar numbers the entire Disney experience.  Madeline never showed us any signs (so scary), but there was that low number.  Madeline was in junk food heaven every time we had to treat a low.  The good news?  Her average blood sugar numbers were almost the same as a person without diabetes.  Yep, happiest place on earth.


Note to self:  next Disney trip, pack lots of extra snacks to treat lows.  $4.00 bottle of some crazy exotic juice, or the small $5.00 Goldfish in the shape of Mickey Mouse will not happen again. 

By the time we headed to Cocoa Beach, I was hoping Madeline's numbers would fall back into their familiar pattern.  No such luck.  Apparently for my little 3 year old, the ocean, and sand as far as the eye can see, create low blood sugars as well.  At least this time there was a Walgreen's (one on every corner, except in Disney) to gather our much needed low blood sugar snacks.

After 8 days of our fun family vacation, it was time to leave.  The kids were very sad to say goodbye to the ocean and sand.  I was very sad to say goodbye to the " almost not diabetic" blood sugar numbers.  Not quite two days after getting home,  Madeline's blood sugar numbers shot up into the 300's.  Welcome home diabetes.

After 2 weeks of crazy, bouncing numbers,  Madeline's blood sugars are back in her safe range. 

Madeline, on the other hand, has now decided she prefers to live on the edge.

Why am I not surprised?

Better hang on tight for the ride diabetes.  Madeline won't be slowing down for you.

Dude.       

 

Going To Georgia

Oh how I love Georgia.  I personally have never been there, but my kids have been told they will be sent there if they are naughty.  Oh, you thought Georgia the state?  That would be too pleasant.  I mean Georgia's house.  You know, the old lady with bad breath babysitter.  Yeah, that Georgia.   

Out of pure desperation, I created Georgia.  Cruel you say?  Not when you consider I have not been away from my kids in a year and a half.  That is cruel.   

Madeline's diabetes care is tough, and nights can be brutal.  Not easy to find a babysitter willing to take on that responsibility for more than a few hours.  I'm confident when Madeline gets older, I will get my time away. Lots and lots of time away.

When the kids are bouncing off the walls, and the vein in my forehead is about ready to burst, I have no other choice but to make "the call". Georgia always answers.  The kids freak out.  And the most amazing thing?  The kids immediately stop whatever was going to make my vein explode and hug each other.  Works every time.  I personally feel Georgia has more kid power than Santa Claus.

I have no idea what they picture Georgia to look like, but it can't be good. Thank goodness for kids imaginations.  I'm not sure what I'll do when they finally realize they have never once actually met this woman.  They'll start to get suspicious. 

Wanted: 
Old lady.  Does not like kids. Answers to the name Georgia.  Must have bad breath. 



 

     

A Sign From Above

Have you ever had an event that you thought "wow, that has to be a sign from above, just for me"?  I have had a few in my life, but never quite as remarkable as the one I experienced on June 23, 2012.

Madeline's one year diabetes blog was written with hopes for a cure to diabetes.  I referenced diabetes as a balloon and the day there is a cure, letting that balloon float up into the air.  How could I have known within just a couple days of writing that blog, I would see my sign, literally, from above.

I was in the home stretch of my early morning run, when I could see in the distance, a hot air balloon slowly coming down from the sky.  I was pretty excited to see it was very close to my subdivision, so I ran just a little harder to see where this balloon was going.

As I raced my way home, I could not believe how close this balloon was to my house.  Every step had me thinking to myself "wow, that's at this neighbors house, no wait, that neighbors house".  Once I came to the entrance of my subdivision, there it was, right there, in my front yard.  I could see Rick and the girls sitting on the front porch watching the balloon team as they worked their magic to get the balloon up off the ground.  I was speechless (that really does not happen too often, ask Rick).

I do believe this had to be a sign, just for me.  Of all the places this one balloon could land, they chose our yard.  Rick would say this is due to his impeccable lawn care, and the soft landing they would enjoy, but I believe there was a greater meaning.  Of all the things that had to come together for that balloon to land in my yard, at that particular moment in time, it had to be fate. 

That one hot air balloon gave me the added strength to continue the fight against diabetes.  It let me know there will be a cure, and I will get to set the diabetes balloon free. 

There were no words ever spoken, but sometimes, silence is the only answer you need. 

  

    

 

  

A One Year Balloon

One year ago today, Madeline was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  That day is forever etched in my memory.  I can still feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, my heart aching so much I thought it would burst, and the feeling of complete helplessness, upon hearing, "you were right, Madeline is diabetic".

Diabetes became the huge elephant in the room, tied to my ankle, and not letting me move forward.  I felt like I was being held captive to my child's chronic illness.  I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Many hours of diabetes training, doctor visits, phone calls and just plain old learning on the fly, we have really come a long way.  I can now ruin your day by telling you how many carbs are in the food you are eating, do a math calculation with my eyes closed, and test a blood sugar in super-human speed.
  
A year later, diabetes is no longer an elephant tied to me, it  has become a balloon.  We take great care so we don't pop it, make sure it always has enough air so it doesn't touch the ground, and hold tight to the string so it doesn't float out of our control.  Blood sugar tests, insulin shots and continual doctor visits will never go away, but we accept them, so we can move forward with our lives.

Madeline is a very happy, energetic and healthy 3 year old now.  She loves to play on the swing set, sing funny songs, and dance silly dances.   She can be the most stubborn little kid at times (I mean really stubborn), but the sweetest, most caring little love bug you have ever met.  She has not let diabetes get in the way of who she will grow up to be.   

I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.  It is a small twinkling little light, but I can finally see it.  As Madeline gets older, medical research advances, and we hold the string tight, someday we may be able to make a wish on Madeline's balloon and let it go.

And watch it float up, up, and away, into the sky.

.